Why do we press harder on a remote control when we
know the batteries are getting weak?
?
?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds"
when they know there is not enough?
?
?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are
four billion stars, but check when you say the paint
is wet?
?
?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
?
?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by
lethal injection?
?
?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
?
?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but
ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
?
?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
?
?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
?
?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still
apes?
?
?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you
use the bubbles are always white?
?
?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
?
?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator
with hopes that something new to eat will have
materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen
times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?
?
?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end
you first try?
?
?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?
?
?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our
ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing
so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
?
?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch
something that's falling off the table you always
manage to knock something else over?
?
?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as
it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
?
?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
?
?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try
doing it like your wife told you to do it?
?
?
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then
don't take up sky diving!
?
?
And my FAVORITE......
?
?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every
four persons is suffering from some sort of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends ----if
they're okay, then it's you.
